


as I have found you

by Karria



Category: Clear Skies (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, welp
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:01:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24664288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karria/pseuds/Karria
Summary: Drabbles for Clear Skies
Relationships: Zhilus Vrenn & Jane Lakat
Comments: 9
Kudos: 18





	1. Tears

Vrenn doesn’t cry.

He doesn’t cry when to his right, his friend is hit with a disruptor shot to her head, and for one terrifying moment, his eyes meet hers; before he can reach out, she is gone. He doesn’t cry when he presses the wound of another in a hopeless attempt to stop the bleeding and when the warm liquid trickles in-between his fingers he closes his eyes and hums.

He doesn’t cry during the body-less funerals; a theatre of grief and fake condolences. He swallows bitter words and tries to honor the dead one last time.

He doesn’t even cry when they give him a medal.

But he feels something break softly when he pointedly doesn’t look at Lakat in the elevator. He takes a breath, but when the cold air enters his throat he almost chokes.

It doesn’t matter right now.

Vrenn doesn’t cry, but in this one moment, he thinks it would’ve felt good if he did.


	2. this little war of mine

„The same thing was said to me by my previous commanding officer, right before he died.”

_The phaser in Prahl’s hand is cold. He can hear his own shaky breathing and the warm sweat on his forehead. His muscles twitch, nervously, resisting all attempts to keep them steady._

_His superior gave him an order._

_He doesn’t remember the last time the phasers were set to stun. Was there ever such a setting? Was this the Starfleet he believed so much in?_

_They engage, and a few seconds later, it’s all over. He’s still alive. Still breathing, his heart beating fast and strong as ever._

_Three of them have not been as lucky and he watches, with trained calm, as the medics try to help those who could still be brought back._

“Explorer Prahl did not make it through the war.”

_He hates it, but in those moments between life and death, he always sees the memories from his past lives, flashing before his eyes. If there is anything he wishes would have been different about being joined, it’s the emotions of previous hosts bleeding in with his own. Flashes of a life he doesn’t have; that he could never have._

_Not that his previous host chose that well. He always knew that for the Vulcan the duty was more important than him, and yet he chose him, lived with that lie for 12 years._

_Prahl couldn’t understand why, but then he saw the Starfleet he himself chose to be a part of, and he realizes that he is no different._


End file.
